Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he?d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he?s walking with a limp.

?What happened to you?? asks Sean, the bartender. ?Jamie O?Conner and me had a fight, ? says Paddy. ?That little shit, O?Conner, ? says Sean, ?He couldn?t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand. ?That he did, ? says Paddy, ?a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin? he gave me with it.? ?Well, ? says Sean, ?you should have defended yourself, didn?t you have something in your hand?? ?That I did, ? said Paddy. ?Mrs. O?Conner?s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.?