A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.

He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was the best damned fine sermon.

Damned good!" The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use that kind of language in the Lord's House." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with thatsermon I put five thousand in the offering plate!" The preacher said, "NO SHIT?"