1. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. 2. Your village called---they're missing an idiot.

3.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 4.

Stop the damn profanity! 5. I am the man from Nantucket. 6. Everyone is entitled to my opinion. 7. Forgive and forget...but keep a list of their names.

8.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort you can be impossible? 9.

Few women admit their age. Few men act it.

10. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.