There are five kinds of sex involved in a marriage. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face. The second is House Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, in every room of your house.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F**k you!" There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife and her lawyer f**k for everything you own you in front of everyone in court.